Thursday, July 17, 2008
Things My Mother Said...and Still Does
My mother is the epitome of the southern mother. She was raised all over the U.S. but has a Texas twang in her accent that is unmistakable. She can cook, has a quick wit and impeccable manners, and likes it when you say "Yes, Ma'am and No, Ma'am." And no Dr. Spock ever made in into her library, she was never afraid to beat me in public and that's just fine with me....well, now anyway. I love her and I miss her, and her sayings still make me smile, especially when she meets someone who doesn't have a clue as to what she's saying. (Those people are probably Northern.)
"You can get glad in the pants you got mad in."
Translation: Turn your attitude around quick. Usually reserved for her school students.
"Faster than a minnow can swim a dipper"
Translation: really fast, i.e., That boy ran faster than a minnow can swim a dipper. This is the most unique saying of them all.
"You better straighten up, or I'm gonna be on you like white on rice."
Translation: I'm gonna paddle you if you don't act right. Usually said in a grocery store.
CLODHOPPER- heavy work shoes or large shoes
FIXING TO- about to
HOLD YOUR HORSES- be patient
SUGAR-kisses, "Gimme sugar."
Down yonder, over yonder, etc.-down there, over there
Bless your heart-an excuse to say anything about anyone, i.e.,
"Bless his heart, he's as dumb as dirt." However, my mom's too sweet to say this one.
Colder than a witch's [breast] in a brass brassiere.
Translation: It's really cold, y'all.
Tough [breast] said the kitty, but the milk's gone dry.
Translation: Quit whining, deal with it. This one normally rhymes:)
Too much meat for the smokehouse.
Translation: Too heavy to be wearing that size, that tube top, those short shorts
Ugly as homemade sin
Translation: really ugly, i.e. "Those shoes are as ugly as homemade sin.
This isn't a comprehensive list, but these are my favorites. Make no mistake, my mother is as tactful as they come, (a trait I admire endlessly) but she somehow gets away with saying whatever is on her mind. I hope you've enjoyed this post, as I have enjoyed these sayings my whole life. Love you, Mom.