Thursday, July 17, 2008

Things My Mother Said...and Still Does

My mother is the epitome of the southern mother. She was raised all over the U.S. but has a Texas twang in her accent that is unmistakable. She can cook, has a quick wit and impeccable manners, and likes it when you say "Yes, Ma'am and No, Ma'am." And no Dr. Spock ever made in into her library, she was never afraid to beat me in public and that's just fine with me....well, now anyway. I love her and I miss her, and her sayings still make me smile, especially when she meets someone who doesn't have a clue as to what she's saying. (Those people are probably Northern.)

"You can get glad in the pants you got mad in."
Translation: Turn your attitude around quick. Usually reserved for her school students.

"Faster than a minnow can swim a dipper"
Translation: really fast, i.e., That boy ran faster than a minnow can swim a dipper. This is the most unique saying of them all.

"You better straighten up, or I'm gonna be on you like white on rice."
Translation: I'm gonna paddle you if you don't act right. Usually said in a grocery store.

CLODHOPPER- heavy work shoes or large shoes

FIXING TO- about to

HOLD YOUR HORSES- be patient

SUGAR-kisses, "Gimme sugar."

Down yonder, over yonder, etc.-down there, over there

Bless your heart-an excuse to say anything about anyone, i.e.,
"Bless his heart, he's as dumb as dirt." However, my mom's too sweet to say this one.

Colder than a witch's [breast] in a brass brassiere.
Translation: It's really cold, y'all.

Tough [breast] said the kitty, but the milk's gone dry.
Translation: Quit whining, deal with it. This one normally rhymes:)

Too much meat for the smokehouse.
Translation: Too heavy to be wearing that size, that tube top, those short shorts

Ugly as homemade sin
Translation: really ugly, i.e. "Those shoes are as ugly as homemade sin.

This isn't a comprehensive list, but these are my favorites. Make no mistake, my mother is as tactful as they come, (a trait I admire endlessly) but she somehow gets away with saying whatever is on her mind. I hope you've enjoyed this post, as I have enjoyed these sayings my whole life. Love you, Mom.


Aric and Amber said...

I love "ugly as homemade sin" that one's great. When I moved to OK and started dating Aric he said "fixin' to" all the time and I HATED it, it was a pet peeve. We've been together so long that I know he's caught me saying it once or twice.

Dawn said...

Mike and I are adopting "Too much meat for the smokehouse!" Love this post! I have heard of most of these. It must be a Southern Thang!

Sarah said...

You look so beautiful in you wedding dress. I am so going to start saying the smokehouse one too. Priceless.

Stacia said...

Love this post!! Too funny and it brought back some memories of my own. I can remember some of these from when I was growing up.

the even more world famous Mir said...

1. sorry to not email ya about the new job..ill call next weekend
2. glad brian's surgery went well!
3. my mom always says the pants one too. and now i do too.

i laughed out loud!
love look gorgeous!